


Jaded

by bigeggs



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Comforing!Sam, Endgame, If this was canon I’d lose my FUCKING mind, M/M, Mentions of Captain America!Sam, Or I mean Implied, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Slight sambucky, Steve doesn’t know how to act I guess, Stucky - Freeform, Where Bucky spills his guts, sad stucky, sambucky - Freeform, stevebucky - Freeform, yeaaaaah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 01:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19713433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigeggs/pseuds/bigeggs
Summary: “Am I enough? Was I enough?”Bucky spills his mf guts. Steve’s a bitchass.Sam to the rescue I guess.Crying.Title based on With Confidence’s Jaded, some lyrics were used.





	Jaded

**Author's Note:**

> sad

“I’m gonna miss you, buddy,” Bucky says sadly.

“It’s going to be okay, Buck,” Steve replies, a little salt evident, but only to Bucky.

Bucky looks over to Sam with a big question mark painted on his face— and he only shrugs as if he were saying

_Well, what are you going to do about this?_

“Tell him,” He mouths.

Bucky rolls his eyes and grabs Steve’s wrist before he gets too far. “Steve.”

He looks back. “What?”

“I- I need to say something.”

“Can it wait, Buck? I’ll be back in five seconds, just-“

“No, Steve. You won’t.”

“What do you mea-“

“And it can’t wait.” Bucky insists. “It’s been long enough.”

Mistakenly rolling his eyes, he sighs and stands in front of him expectantly.

“ _Am_ I even worth this? Do you want to hear what I have to say?” Bucky says, quoting back a few years prior.

“Buck, I told you that you are—“

“Because I don’t feel like I am. I don’t feel like I’m worth your time.”

“Where are you getting all this from? Bucky, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” Steve says, near complete anger.

“Are you oblivious?” Bucky asks, genuinely _needing_ the answer.

“Bucky, what?”

“Do you seriously not know where I’m going with this? I don’t want you to go.” Bucky admits.

“I’m just going to return the stones..” Steve fabricates, although it’s not technically untrue. “I’ll be back.” Steve starts to walk away, and Bucky doesn’t try anymore.

“I’m in love with you!” He blurts. “Steve,”

He turns around. “What?”

“Like you didn’t know.” Bucky rolls his eyes for the millionth time.

“I didn’t- I didn’t know. I-“ Steve spills honestly.

“That’s bullshit. It is. I tried to tell you so many times, I don’t- I don’t know how you couldn’t know.”

“W-when- when did you realize?”

“1927.”

“Shit, I-“ Steve buries his face in his hands. “You know-“

“That you’re in love with Peggy?” Bucky finishes. “Unfortunately, I do. I know she makes you happy and, and that she is someone you held onto and you were so happy that someone from your time, her, was alive—“

Steve sniffles, interrupting Bucky momentarily.

“—But so was I, Steve. So was I. I was here. I was there for you. And that time in the Quinjet when I asked you if I was worth your time? All the trouble?When you said I was, I thought you’d be here until the end.”

“Huh?”

“I need you, I.. But you’re- you’re just going to leave.” He’s crying now and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop.

Steve looks to the side, then back at Bucky, walking up and capturing his lips, only for Bucky to push him away softly.

“What?” Steve asks.

“Don’t do that.” is all Bucky says.

“What?” Steve repeats.

“Don’t use me— don’t use me to feel something.”

“I- I just,” he sadly smiles, “Buck, you know I love you.”

“But do you _need_ me? Like I need you?” He asks shakily.

“That’s it.” Bucky says when Steve slowly shrugs. “You don’t know. And that’s what I mean. I wish I could be enough. Am I enough? W-was I enough?”

“Bucky, of course you’re enough.”

“For you?”

“For _me_ , of course, you always will be.” Steve whispers, grabbing his hand.

“But your mind is on her. It always has been since you met her.” Bucky lets go of the hand he’s wanted to hold for so long as more tears cloud his eyes. “And I wish I could be everything you’re needing right now, but I’m not. I can’t be _anything_ you’re looking for, I just won’t fulfill you like you _think_ she can.. and I won’t be.. I can’t believe you anyways, Steve. Our ‘always,’ will be over the moment you return. Is this seriously where our line ends?”

“Don’t be like that, Buck.. I- What do you mean you can’t believe me? Believe _what_?” He asks.

“I think you’re just saying what you think I need to hear to move on.”

Steve hangs his head.

“I need to go.” He says softly.

“I know,” Bucky replies, allowing the hug Steve offers.

“Hey,” Bucky whispers in his ear, “If you change your mind, come back, okay? I’m here,” He partially jokes.

Steve only laughs and wipes his tears, walking away.

“Leaving in 3..2..” Bruce starts in the background.

Bucky looks towards the lake, tears still falling when Sam walks up to him.

He rubs Bucky’s back soothingly.

“1… Returning in 5, 4, 3, 2…..”

Bucky looks over to Sam with a smile. “He’ll have something for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Steve. He’ll- he’ll have something for you.”

“Okay.” Sam says quietly. “Will I like it?” He jokes.

“I think you will.”


End file.
